People love mentally ill folks when they don’t know we’re mentally ill. When they think the quirks are charm, the humor is personality, the “different” is something interesting instead of something stigmatized. But the second the truth is shared—medication, diagnoses, history, healing—the entire tone shifts. Suddenly every emotion is a symptom, every reaction is an episode, every boundary is a disorder acting up. People stop listening to the person and start listening to the

Childhood trauma does not stay in childhood. It settles into the body. It becomes instinct. It quietly teaches us how to survive connection long before we ever learn how to feel safe inside it. We don’t grow out of trauma. We grow around it. And unless it is healed, it shapes every relationship we enter, romantic or otherwise. When love in early life was inconsistent, conditional, or required us to be smaller than we were, we did not learn what we deserved. We learned what we

In therapy, there are moments where disclosure can be helpful. Sometimes it builds connection. Sometimes it offers normalization. And sometimes disclosure is just about the therapist needing to say their own new thing out loud. Because of that, as therapists, we really have to stop and ask ourselves: is this disclosure for them, or is it for me? Those of you who work with me, have read my book, or have poked around our website know that I am bipolar. Bipolar doesn’t rule my l

Somewhere along the way, happiness got confused with comfort. And comfort got confused with “this is fine.” You know the feeling. Nothing is technically wrong… but nothing is really right either. You’re not miserable. You’re just… muted. Here’s the thing no one says loudly enough: happiness doesn’t magically appear when someone else changes.  It shows up when you decide that your life—and your relationships—get to feel alive, honest, and nourishing. Yes, happiness is a choice

One of the reasons I became a therapist, and I say this proudly, is because my all-time favorite movie is The Prince of Tides  with Barbra Streisand. She was the coolest therapist I had ever seen. She cussed, she didn’t apologize for being direct, and yes, she even threw something at a client once. I remember thinking, yep, that’s the job for me. If I wasn’t going to be a prison guard, therapist was the natural next step. Period. There’s a line in that movie that I’ve always

This week someone said to me, “I just want to know why.” Why something happened. Why someone hurt them. Why life unfolded the way it did. And it stuck with me, because I’ve asked those same questions. Why did this happen? Why wasn’t I enough? Why was I pushed away? Why, why, why. The truth is, we don’t always get the answer to the “why.” And sometimes we do get an answer—and it’s so absolutely ridiculous, so shallow, so wrong—that we almost wish we never asked in the first p

Values are basically the invisible rules you live by. The stuff that decides:   whether you return your shopping cart, whether you apologize like a grown adult, or whether you just quietly blame the universe. They’re not fancy. They’re not complicated. But they matter… a lot.   Because here’s the deal: If your idea of “respect” is “we talk things out,” and their idea of “respect” is “I go silent for six days and expect you to read my mind,” you’re not in a relationship — you’

A couple weeks ago, I had this brilliant idea for a post — at least, I thought it was brilliant — and I started writing about the “Let Them Theory.” In my heart of hearts, I was convinced the whole thing was complete bullshit. Like… cute idea, but absolutely not rooted in reality. And then the universe, which clearly loves to humble me, started flooding all my social media with takes, videos, and articles about the Let Them Theory. So I dug in. And holy. shit. I was wrong. (A

“Are We Evolving or Just Losing It?” — Surviving Relationship Transitions Without Throwing a Shoe or a fu$king fit…   As we transition through relationships, there are levels. First, you’ve got to figure out how to go to the bathroom in front of each other without killing the romance. Then comes the delivery room, where you both realize there’s no such thing as privacy anymore. And before you know it, you’re sitting in couples counseling with me like, “Wait… all of this was p

As the year winds down and the holiday season begins to shimmer around us, I find myself reflecting not just on what we’ve accomplished at Wings of Change, but on who we’ve become in the process. Gratitude isn’t just about success; it’s about awareness. It’s about learning from the messy, imperfect, human moments that shape us. The 30-Day Challenge That Humbled Me At the end of September, I decided I was going to do something simple but powerful: for 30 days, I wouldn’t say a

Love isn’t always romantic. It’s the love we have for our children, our friends, our family, and even for the stranger in front of us at...

Life rarely waits for the “perfect moment” to get easier before asking us to smile again. Chaos doesn’t pause for us to catch our breath....

In therapy, we often come in knowing something has to change. We carry stress, grief, patterns, or pain, and sometimes it feels...

We spend so much time looking for the right partner, when the deeper truth is this: the real work lies in being  the right partner. It’s...

Suicide doesn’t need a month, or a day, or a ribbon pinned to a shirt. When you’ve lived it, when you’ve stood on the other side of that...

Life Lessons From Dogs: What My 8-Month-Old Doberman Taught Me About Patience Life Lessons From Dogs: What My 8-Month-Old Doberman Taught...

Ever notice that the person who triggers the most conflict is often the person you care about most—or the one you see most frequently?...

Two two-year-olds run to me. One comes with eyes wide, shining with wonder and love, certain that nothing could ever go wrong. The other...

Generational trauma is often invisible, passed down quietly through families not only in the stories we share, but also in the patterns...

In my office, we talk about everything. We talk about sex. We talk about money. We talk about arguments, boots left in the living room,...