Gratitude

As the year winds down and the holiday season begins to shimmer around us, I find myself reflecting not just on what we’ve accomplished at Wings of Change, but on who we’ve become in the process. Gratitude isn’t just about success; it’s about awareness. It’s about learning from the messy, imperfect, human moments that shape us.

The 30-Day Challenge That Humbled Me

At the end of September, I decided I was going to do something simple but powerful: for 30 days, I wouldn’t say a single negative word about anyone. No gossip, no snarky texts, no sideways comments. I didn’t even include thoughts in my goal because I figured I’d have that under control by the end. By day 30, I’d basically be an angel.

I made it ten minutes.

So, naturally, I rewrote the goal to start the next day. And since that day was now a freebie, I did what any responsible adult would do. I got it all out of my system. I vented, I gossiped, I did the things. Then I started again.

The next morning, I told myself I wasn’t going to fail this time. I was determined. I made it all the way until I got out of bed. Then I had to rewrite the goal again. Third day in a row.

This went on for days: me, my determination, and my rewrites. Finally, I added something new. I decided that instead of starting over tomorrow, I’d start over in the moment. If I messed up, I didn’t have to restart the challenge; I just had to restart my mindset. And then, miraculously, I made it out of my room before I slipped up. Progress!

Then, a few days later, I got bold. I added thoughts to the challenge. I told myself that if a negative thought came in, I’d replace it with something positive. And for three glorious days, it worked. No negative words, no mean thoughts, nothing but love and light.

And then the avalanche came. Oh my goodness. Three full days of talking trash, venting, texting, emailing — you name it.

But here’s the thing: I started again. And again. And again. And now, as I’m writing this on October 17, I’m on Day 4 of a solid streak. And it feels different this time.

What I’m Learning

This little challenge has reminded me that it’s easy to preach positivity and harder to practice it. It’s easy to call ourselves safe spaces but harder to be one. Gossip isn’t just unkind; it’s unsafe. It’s the silent thing that breaks trust and belonging in ways we can’t always see.

We’ve all been on the receiving end — when you can feel someone knows something about you that you never told them, when a rumor twists a truth, when you sense you’re being silently judged. It leaves a pit in your stomach and a crack in your confidence. You can’t always fix it, and you can’t always call it out. But you can choose not to pass it on.

So, as I keep trying (and sometimes failing) at this challenge, I’m learning that being grateful isn’t just about what’s going right; it’s about being intentional in the small things that build connection, trust, and compassion.

Gratitude in Action

At Wings of Change, we’ve built something special because we show up for each other — even when it’s messy, even when we have to rewrite our goals ten times. The laughter, the honesty, the forgiveness, the accountability — that’s what I’m grateful for this season.

Gratitude isn’t just a feeling. It’s a practice. It’s learning to slow down enough to notice where we can be kinder — to ourselves, to our coworkers, to our clients, and to the people who cross our path.

So here’s to the practice — to trying again, to forgiving ourselves, to choosing grace over gossip, and to finding joy in the work and the people beside us.

If you try your own 30-day challenge, give yourself grace. It’s harder than it sounds, but it changes you.

With love (and a few rewrites),

Mel