Free

A couple weeks ago, I had this brilliant idea for a post — at least, I thought it was brilliant — and I started writing about the “Let Them Theory.” In my heart of hearts, I was convinced the whole thing was complete bullshit. Like… cute idea, but absolutely not rooted in reality.

And then the universe, which clearly loves to humble me, started flooding all my social media with takes, videos, and articles about the Let Them Theory. So I dug in. And holy. shit.

I was wrong.

(And listen, that does not happen often. Usually I’m on top of my game… especially when it comes to knowing the newest— okay, nope, I can’t even say that with a straight face. I’m wrong all the time, but this time it was loud.)

Turns out the Let Them Theory is actually pretty damn solid.

Here’s what it means to me now:

At this point in my life, with everything shifting, growing, breaking open, and rearranging itself, the Let Them Theory feels like a permission slip I didn’t realize I needed. And like any theory, it evolves with us. New chapters, new people, new boundaries, new heartbreaks, new lessons the theory becomes something different depending on where we are.

I may not understand it the way you do. You may not feel it the way I do.

But that’s the beauty of it.  Differences but the same global…we are both okay.

So let’s talk about Let Them.

Let’s talk about the Let Them Theory, because I swear this thing is like the universal remote for sanity that nobody told us came with adulthood.

The Let Them Theory is simple:

If people want to do something… let them.

If they want to exclude you?

Let them. (Then go where you’re celebrated, not tolerated — your therapist (me) will clap for that one.)

If they want to flake?

Let them. (Past versions of you would’ve written a paragraph about it. Present you is tired. Let them.)

If they want to misunderstand you?

Let them. (Not everyone is meant to read you… you’re a complex novel, not a cereal box.)

If they want to make zero effort?

Let them. (Effort is free. If they’re not spending it, don’t loan them any of yours.)

What I love now that I’m embracing it instead of rolling my eyes at it is how the theory changes depending on where you’re at in life:

In Your Twenties:

You let them because you’re trying to look unbothered but actually you’re dying inside and Googling “why do people suck.”

 In Your Thirties:

You let them because you’re in therapy, you’ve cried in your car enough to earn a badge, and you’re too tired for chaos that isn’t paying your bills.

In Your Forties (me now):

You let them because peace is sexy, drama is exhausting, and you finally realize that someone else’s behavior is not your responsibility.

(Your therapist is so proud she’s basically glowing…again me…)

And in any stage of healing:

You let them because holding on hurts more than letting go.

Here’s the secret though:

The Let Them Theory isn’t about being passive. It’s not about giving up.

It’s about choosing yourself without forcing anyone else to choose you back.

It’s about using your energy like it’s a luxury candle not a Dollar Tree emergency flashlight you hand out to everyone who passes by.

It’s about freeing yourself from the “fixing” and “convincing” and “explaining” that you’ve been doing your entire life.

It’s about protecting your peace like it’s the last French fry.

And most importantly, it’s about trusting this:

Whoever is meant for you won’t need to be managed, nudged, begged, or supervised.

Let them show you who they are… and let yourself believe them.

So yeah I was wrong.

The Let Them Theory isn’t bullshit.

It’s actually the plot twist I didn’t know I needed.

And if people don’t like this blog?

…Let them.