September Reset
September has a funny way of making us feel like we should suddenly have our lives together. I woke up September ready to roll, I hadn’t cried in three days, Peattie slept in, Dre didn’t pee on my pillow… by 3pm I had cancelled my afternoon and was crying in the shower… Fuck you September…
But… I digress… For many people, September feels a little like a second New Year. There is something about the change of season that makes us want to reset, reorganize, and start fresh.
And there is nothing wrong with that. The problem starts when our “fresh start” becomes another giant list of things we think we should be doing. Here was my list:
Wake up earlier, 5am... Exercise every day, walking Peattie doesn't count, but chasing Dre back home does... Drink more water... Meal prep (protein)... Journal... Meditate... Answer every email... Keep the house clean... Be present with the kids... Be on time to EVERY session... Maintain friendships... Get eight hours of sleep. Oh, and don't forget to relax…yep in all the hours I have left in the day, say 7:13 to 7:22
I am hopeful some of my advice below is helpful, I am going to start on September 3rd, I promise…
A Routine Should Support You, Not Become Another Job
Routines can be incredibly helpful for our mental health.
Predictability can create a sense of stability. Healthy habits can help us care for our bodies and minds. Structure can make life feel a little less chaotic.
But there is an important difference between having structure and being overscheduled. One is good, one not so good, you decide which.
A supportive routine says:
“Here are a few things that help me feel grounded.”
An overwhelming routine says:
“Congratulations. You now have 47 (ironically also how old I am) things to accomplish before breakfast.”
If your routine constantly leaves you feeling behind, guilty, or exhausted, it might not be helping you nearly as much as you think.
Sometimes the answer isn't becoming more disciplined.
Sometimes the answer is doing less…and not feeling guilty about it.
Start With What Actually Matters
Instead of asking, “How can I fit more into my day?” try asking:
“What helps me function better?”
That question gives us very different answers.
Maybe getting enough sleep makes you more patient.
Maybe taking a walk after work helps you transition from work mode into home mode.
Maybe having 15 quiet minutes before everyone else wakes up keeps you from wearing one of those orange jumpsuits.
Maybe preparing a few things the night before makes mornings less chaotic.
None of these habits are particularly glamorous.
Nobody is going to make a motivational documentary about you putting your keys in the same place every night.
But small, boring routines often make the biggest difference.
Protect the Basics
When life gets busy, we tend to eliminate the exact things that help us cope with being busy.
Sleep gets shorter.
Exercise disappears.
Lunch becomes something eaten while answering emails.
Quiet time becomes scrolling on our phones until we realize we've somehow watched 26 videos about people organizing refrigerators. I have three refrigerators…none of them are organized, I was waiting for September.
Connection gets replaced by logistics.
“Did you eat?”
“Who has practice?”
“Did you sign that form?”
“Why is there a shoe in the kitchen sink?”
During busy seasons, protecting a few basic needs can go a long way.
You don't need a perfect wellness routine.
Think simpler:
Get enough rest when you can.
Move your body in ways that feel manageable.
Eat regularly.
Spend time outside.
Talk to people you actually enjoy…
Give yourself (numerous) moments where nobody needs anything from you.
And yes, sometimes hiding in your car for five minutes before walking into the house counts as a transition period. So does walking outside with your bare feet your eyes capturing the moon.
We work with what we've got… But no matter what you need the moments, you deserve the moments.
Build a Routine That Has Room for Real Life
One of the biggest mistakes we make when creating routines is designing them for the imaginary version of ourselves who is never tired, never sick, never frustrated, never running late, and whose children apparently wake up cheerful and immediately put their shoes on.
That person does not live here, none of those people live here as a matter of fact.
A healthy routine needs flexibility.
There will be mornings when everything goes wrong.
There will be weeks when work is overwhelming.
There will be nights when dinner is cereal or door dashed donuts.
There will be days when the workout doesn't happen, the laundry is still in the dryer, and your biggest accomplishment is that everyone survived…and the laundry did not mildew.
That does not mean the routine failed.
It means you're human.
The goal is not to create a system you follow perfectly.
The goal is to create habits you can return to.
Pay Attention to What You're Saying Yes To
Sometimes our schedules aren't overwhelming because we're bad at time management.
They're overwhelming because we're saying yes to too much.
Yes to helping.
Yes to volunteering.
Yes to one more project.
Yes to one more commitment.
Yes because we don't want to disappoint someone.
Yes because saying no makes us uncomfortable.
And suddenly we're staring at a calendar that looks like a competitive game of Tetris.
Boundaries are part of a healthy routine too.
Before adding something new this fall, ask:
Do I actually want to do this?
Do I realistically have time for this?
What will I have to give up in order to say yes?
Does it bring me joy?
Every yes costs something.
Sometimes it's time.
Sometimes it's energy.
Sometimes it's peace.
Choose accordingly, choose smartly, be okay with making a choice and then allowing yourself to “unchoose” it.
Your September Reset Doesn't Have to Be Dramatic
You don't need to reinvent yourself this fall. I only must is putting out your Christmas decorating the day after Halloween.
You don't need a new planner, a 5 a.m. morning routine, twelve new habits, and a refrigerator filled exclusively with vegetables you secretly have every intention of eating, but never do.
Maybe your reset is smaller.
Maybe you go to bed 30 minutes earlier.
Maybe you stop checking work email after dinner.
Maybe you take a walk three times a week.
Maybe you put one night on the calendar where absolutely nothing is scheduled.
Maybe you finally admit that whatever complicated organizational system you've been trying to use isn't working and go back to writing things on a piece of paper or the back of your hand. I tattoo it on my arm.
Mental health isn't built through perfection.
It's built through small choices we make consistently and through giving ourselves permission to adjust when those choices stop working for us.
So as we move into a new season, consider three questions:
What is one thing you want to add?
What is one thing you want to protect?
What is one thing you're ready to let go of?
Your calendar will probably never be perfectly balanced.
Your routine will occasionally fall apart.
Someone will still forget their water bottle....Dre will run away (I'm so jealous of him sometimes)
The cat will throw up as you are walking out the door.
That's life....my life, business, 2 boys, 2 boys and 3 cats...
The goal isn't to control every part of it. (enter surprise face here)
The goal is to create enough space, structure, and support so that you can actually enjoy some of it.
And if your current routines, responsibilities, or stress levels are leaving you feeling overwhelmed, therapy can be a place to sort through what is working, what isn't, and what you might be ready to change. (Like how I threw that in)
At Wings of Change Therapy, we believe change doesn't have to happen all at once.
Sometimes it starts with one small choice.
And sometimes that choice is saying, “Nope. That's not going on my calendar.”
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